ari and uzi

ahem

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 05:16:30 GMT

dear livejournal,

you're lame.

sincerely,

tati tuti fresh and fruiti

p.s.- my eye is itchy.. but life is good.

friends dont waste wine when there's words to sell

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 04:51:14 GMT

i feel like i'm dying slowly... like every day is a little worse. today was exceptionally bad. i'll just keep my mouth shut about it out of respect of others. i wouldn't appreciate if he wrote things about me in his live journal, so i'll try to do the same... i cried for so long. then i started freaking out and screaming and getting extremely angry. my parents finally came and i pulled it together. this is the first time in a while that i got it in my head that i must hurt myself. i havent yet, if it matters. we'll see how this week goes. you think i'd be drugged up enough not to have these problems anymore, but nope. it still haunts me.

i tried to be at the festival, but i couldnt get that lump out of my throat, those horrible images and thoughts out of my head... i just told my parents i had a headache and i wanted to lay down, which was true.. i just left out the whole "and i hope i never wake up" part. "you'll find someone youre more compatible with, sweetie..." what a ridiculous platitude. that means nothing to me. i think there is nothing sadder than having your parents reassure you that you're beautiful because you know it's a load of horse shit. my mom even had the audacity to tell me that plenty of people "like" me (meaning guys). how the fuck would she know? actually, no one does... oh wait, mom, unless you mean plenty of guys want to fuck me because that's the truth. and that's all they want. to fuck me and leave me. and i do it. why do i do it? i do it because i feel it's better than not feeling wanted at all. but is it? i feel like it's all i'm good for. no one will ever love me again. what do i have to offer? i'm cynical and depressing and i'm fat and unattractive. great combo right there. no wonder i have so many dates.

maybe this sounds like a one girl pity party, but i dont even fucking care. do you know how long i've felt like this? it's getting to the point where i really dont value my life. i could care less what happens to me.

i told my mom i cant come here next semester. well, i literally said, "i need to get the fuck out of here, mom" and she said, "if you leave now, we'll lose so much money... can you stay till the end of the semester? then you can come home... i guess you'll just have to move back home." i dont even want to move home. that's the worst option i've ever heard. i cannot live with my parents. this summer was hell. so unless i get my own place, there is no way in hell i can leave here. imagine being 20 and having your mother wake you up at 9 am for no good reason. and putting sheets under the door in the basement to smoke and being paranoid all the time that they're gonna bitch me out. and realistically, if i go home all i'll do is get a job and spend all my money on drugs, i know it. and what about school? i'll never get a decent job... i'm gonna amount to nothing.

but how can i stay here? there's nothing here for me anymore. nothing.

most disappointing day of my life

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 02:56:46 GMT

do i even have the energy to explain it all? pretty much thought today was going to be the best day of my life, because not only was sean astin going to be at the muesem of science, but he was going to be signing his new book.. yes, meeting people, shaking their hands, giving them hugs. any of you who know me would understand how this would be my life long dream and how i could die happy after this. so mom agrees to take me home this weekend and we decide to go to the muesem "early" cause sean is having 2 signing sessions. so we get there at 10 a.m. and are in line by 10:15.. but wait- someone is standing at the end of the line telling people they cant line up anymore. he wasnt even fucking THERE yet and they told us we couldnt line up. "sorry... we didnt expect this large of a turnout.. there are way too many people here. these people in line probably wont even get to him by 5." mind you, it's fucking 10 a.m. and i specifically came home this weekend thinking this was gonna be an amazing day.. it was my present from my parents for making the dean's list. my eyes welled up but i kept telling myself "dont be a pussy, it's your own fault. you should have been here at 8." i sat down on a rock and watched these girls who had driven 5 hours to see sean start bawling. and we bought tickets to the muesem before all this bull shit cause we thought we had to. if we had just gotten in line, we probably would have made it. but i dont even want to think about it.

so i did see him... oh god, he's beautiful. every time someone yelled to him he would look up to them and wave and blow them a kiss. pretty much the most adorable man i have ever seen in my life. but to be that close, watch all these people shake his hand and tell him how amazing he is and to not be able to do the same! it was fucking heart wrenching. i know i'm being a little girl, but it was so disappointing.

one highlight: at lunch we met this grandma named harriet and her grand-daughter, victoria. victoria was 11 and she was so funny. i told harriet what happened to me and harriet said, "i'm in the front- want me to take your book for you? you can have up to 5 books signed. he's not personalizing them, but at least it's something." harriet makes me believe that there really are good people in this world today. she said he was so sweet and so nice and he shook everyone's hands. AHH! but just the fact that he touched my book is kind of crazy. and victoria said "i froze up! i couldnt speak!" haha, she was the cutest.

alright, that's enough. why did i even fucking rehash this? now i really just want to crawl into a dark space and die.

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 03:03:49 GMT

i feel so fucking hated here. i just want to go home

i cant stand it. i cant even cry in my own god damn room. FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 00:55:27 GMT

it was good to feel wanted again.. it was good to cuddle. it felt nice. it was good to be called beautiful, although i know such things dont matter.

i wish i could fall in love again, but i dont even know if that's what i really want

this entry was pointless and stupid. i apologize to anyone who took the time to read it.

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 04:43:37 GMT

i'm crying

i'm crying

i'm crying

i'm crying... i'm crying.. i'm crying..

i'm crying so softly..

you can't even hear me...

i can't hear it either, but i can feel it. i can feel the tears in my eyes

i can feel it..

i can feel my heart dying.

i can't stop crying

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 20:50:20 GMT

TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

i woke up and my head was calling out your name.

i really miss you a lot. i know you havent heard from me, so maybe it doesnt seem so... but god, i miss you. i have so much to ask you and so much to tell.. i dont even know where to begin. i almost hate that we have to "catch up." it feels unnatural that we dont know what's going on in each others' lives.

anyway, i hope things are still beautiful and fun where you are.

send weeju? please? you dont even need a return address, i swear

p.s.- i wanted a letter/postcard too.. i just never said anything cause i figured you would send me one regardless. but this is my address:

MS6683
229 Main St.
Keene, NH, 03435

and why i didnt just email this to you is beyond me.. i was looking at live journal but i didnt feel like writing about anything but you...

everything sucks today

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 01:45:22 GMT

it hurts to live. ry ry gave me a cold. but i still love him. this weekend was crazy and not so crazy at the same time. keene can be pretty lame.

mer, kt, and ry ry came up on friday and we got food and went back to my room to smoke mad weeju, as usual. dani came on saturday and we all just chilled.. i dont even remember what we did, is that good? haha. what the hell did we do? i remember getting jelly beans.. a movie perhaps? we smoked a blunt with some randoms who dont even go here- they just smelled the weeju down the hall and it lead to my room. good times. the cops knocked on my door sunday, pretty good. i thought i was gonna pee myself, but it wasnt even us. these girls across the hall were smoking. of course my room smelled like cashed pot and still smells like resin a little. and the bong case was in plain sight, but cops are fucking stupid.

who's stupid? yah moms! haha me and kt are a couple of top grade assholes.

people are ignorant in this town.. we got looks everywhere we went. i wanted to punch this bitch in the face for talking about kt's skirt. they're just jealous of our love!

on to more important things.. i broke up my trileptal and was gonna go snort it in the bathroom cause.. why the hell not? i'm bored and tired and i thought maybe it would give me some energy. then this weird bitch in the hallway started staring at me, and i was like "what's up, man?" and she just kept staring and started following me and tapping her shoes on my shoulder. needless to say, my drugs fell to the floor. i'm all for being random and odd, but dont fucking knock my drugs out of my hands- i will kill you. i bet those girls saw all this white powder fall out of the card i was holding.. hahahah, they probably think i'm a coke head. i wish i was a coke head- i also wish coke wasnt so bad for you. cause it makes me feel so good.

why cant they make anti-depressants like coke? coke makes me feel amazing. unfortunately, it's all chemicals and would probably give me a massive heart attack since i'm already overweight and in bad health. fuck life

to everyone who reads this, i miss you, please leave me a little message to let me know youre still livin.

going to kt's this weekend. yo fucking holla. mer is probably gonna come up on thursday to take me home friday.. best thing of my life! that's only 2 days away. yesssss. maybe ry ry will skip his classes on friday and come with mer. how about it, ry??

ay ay ay, i need to see polish!! i gotta see him soon. i wanna party with polish! that should be the weekend after this one. or maybe columbus day weekend. 4 day weekend, yo hollz.

and when can i go to nyc to see gregy and trina?? too much shit to do. just too much shit.

i'm just thinking, is all

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 05:27:18 GMT

i'm not sure whether to get all reminiscent (sp?) or just talk about how things are here. maybe both? i dont know.

keene is pretty fucking lame most of the time. i spend a good deal of time crying, some time laughing, and a lot of time working and stressing out. my roommate, ashley, is very cool. we have some serious tool sheds on this floor, so i'd say we lucked out. she doesn't do drugs or drink really, but she doesnt mind if i smoke in the room. yo fucking holla to that. anyway, she's really nice and we get along, so that's good. i lucked out in that department. and our RA is pretty chill. it's matt power's girlfriend, amanda. we all know matt is a big pothead, so i'm sure amanda isnt gonna be a hard ass about that stuff. i could never see her smoking, but she must if she's with matt. maybe not, whatev.

so things have been kind of meh... rodrigo died this morning :( i wanted to cry, but i didnt. i'm trying not to be a baby about it, but i was pretty upset. i think he died of pneumonia. maybe if those fuckers at the pet store told me he needed a heating lamp i could have taken care of that... anyway, i'm gonna cry if i think about it further. i feel like a horrible murderer. rodrigo deserved better.. and grandpa ry ry died on the way here. eh i dont even want to think about it, i'm getting so sad.

something wicked fucked happened to my friend. i'm not mentioning names cause i know people read this. she was pretty much sexually assaulted by this guy.. came damn close to being raped. and it sucks, cause i want to tell someone, but i promised i wouldnt. she still hasnt decided what she's gonna do. uggghhh what if she doesnt want to say anything? what the hell am i gonna do? i saw that fucker today and i glared at him like i was gonna pull out a knife.. i wanted to punch his fucking teeth in. i tried to make light of the situation and tell her i know people who can take care of him. she laughed, but inside i know she's so shaken and scared about what happened. people make me sick.

i miss everyone so much. i was really worried about mer, but now she seems to be feeling much better. i'm glad she has ry ry back home. in a way, i'm jealous. i wish i could be home with them. but i'm sure they wish they could be somewhere else too. i was talking to katie about how youre home friends are so different from you school friends... like you love your school friends, but your home friends are the best people in the world. i love you all more than life. katie, ry ry, and mer are supposed to come visit next weekend. that would be so amazing. and i got my dan dan only a half hour away. but she's having so much fun, i doubt she'll wanna come to keene a lot. but i'm so happy for her. i just wish i could have a good college experience too. i suck at making friends.

i dont know if i'm gonna make it through this entire semester. i just dont know.

time to feel good

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 03:00:51 GMT

this week has been miserable. i cant lie. things have been really difficult. but i've come to so many important conclusions and decisions and right now i feel like a giant weight has lifted off my shoulders. i'm smiling! i'm sincerely smiling! i still dont know if i'm gonna stay at keene state, but no matter what i know things are gonna be ok.

i've realized that kris and i cannot be friends. it's too hard for both of us. i will always have a place in my heart for him.. he's my first everything- that's a big deal to me. i like us both as individuals, but us together is just a bad combination. i just cant feel responsible for his unhappiness anymore because i know it's not my fault. and hopefully things will look up for him too. actually i know they will. he's a very driven, dedicated person. good luck to you, kris.

so anyway, on to feeling good! today would have been just an ordinary day, but i tried my best to make it better. i had lunch and dinner with jen, i dropped my math class and added a new one (so glad to get that squared away), i took care of some business stuff, and right now i'm chilling with my roomie and her friend, max :) she's a lot of fun. i have a good feeling we're gonna get along great! i feel so dorky with all this happy pappy crap spewing out but AHHHH it feels good. THEN tonight i heard from the greatest people in the world!!! mer called me and she was with greg, ry ry, etak, and Trina on plum island. i got to talk to ry, it was great to hear his voice. and they're gonna come pick me up tomorrow!!!! i cant fucking wait, i'm so excited!!! being sober for this long has been odd... not bad, just different. i act like it's been weeks. try a few days... and tomorrow night i'll be saying bye to trina and gregy, but it will be ok. there will be so many visits and shit and hearing about trace's travels and seeing her pictures and ahhhhh

annnnnd the best part of this weekend:

ZAI'S PARTY ON SATURDAY!!!! (i got you the hottest housewarming present, zai) it's gonna be so much fun. i think everyone needs a night of fun. things have been stressful for us all.

happiness is a warm gun.

and a special message for zai:

BUUUUUUUURGER KING

about to snap

Sat, 21 Aug 2004 21:08:25 GMT

last night was the worst night ever... followed by an even more horrible morning. i dont even want to fucking talk about it. not even to a journal that no one really reads anyway. papers were awful. it rained. we were late. some disgusting asshole at bickford's kept hitting on us. most uncomfortable meal of my life. then the downpour started and that nasty guy was like "you can camp out here for as long as you like." pass.

why is everything so fucking shitty.

my roommate called my phone today. my cell phone... how random. why would they give out my cell phone number? so weird. anyway, she sounds like a nice girl. i'll have to give her a call.

Fri, 20 Aug 2004 20:20:34 GMT

9 days left...

what the fuck is that????

fuck school.. they dont even get degrassi

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 15:52:05 GMT

sometimes i really fucking hate myself. i want someone to rip me open and individually kill every piece of me.

i feel like i deserve nothing. and i want nothing.

i just want to lay here alone and cry.

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 17:10:29 GMT

all i can hear in my head right now is "burger king, burger king" with the crazy dance. hahahahah it's still funny, whatever

last night me and mer were talking about the old lady who shuffles up the driveway.. and i was saying "wanna get high?" mer goes, "dude, she's dead." and we both burst into laughter. we're going to hell.

none of this made any sense to anyone. i know.

my journal is messed

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 13:38:00 GMT

for some reason, my friends page is not being updated. i dont know what is happening and i'm scared. SCARED!

yay for today. yay for yesterday. and noooowwww i'll tel you why! ::overdone awkward wink::

yesterday was such a good time. i rarely get up before noon these days, but yesterday was muy special. trace came over in the morn and i gave her a sensual massage. ::cough:: i mean, she had a knot in her back and i merely applied some presure to the area to make it feel better. yeah, that's it. yeah! anyway, after that fiasco we went to panera- delicious. then we went to work where we watched city of the lost children, which was very interesting. i found it enjoyable. then the manipulative little asian conned me into staying with her the entire day at work. it was your plan from the beginning, i know! went home after that and... i forget. but trace came back later on at night and played paper mario. i was sad when she left cause i was not tired enough to go to bed, and paper mario is so entertaining, you have no idea. i think i'm gonna call trace in a little while... even though it's only 9:30 and i'm the only crack head who is awake right now.

and today!!!!!! AHHH! first, mer is coming home in the late afternoon! then, i'm going to providence with shan!! STEVE!!! i'm so excited to see steve, you have no idea. i'll be back at the gay club tonight, kids. yo holla. gay men make my life. they are a beautiful species in their own, i swear. and me and shan are gonna have so much fun!

monday was much fun too. i can remember seeing greg and dan and trace.. i dontrecal what we did, but it was rather enjoyable. this whole week is good. I LOVE MY LIFE!!

ok, let's not over do it. i did get three books yesterday too: running with scissors, slaughter-house V, and the five people you meet in heaven. i started running with scissors cause i love augusten so much. turns out dry was really a sequel to this one, so i'm reading them backwards i guess. ah well. the book is already amazing.

i love you guys. i really do.

special note to greg and trina: i miss you already (even though trina is still in west newbury)

can i get a yo holla?

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 22:47:43 GMT

why have things been so damn intense? it's almost august, which is enough to make me vomit right here right now. speaking of vomitting, i throw up in my own mouth way more than i should. should i not have mentioned that? was that fucking disgusting? TOO BAD!

anyway, a brief overview of my life lately:

went to hershey on sunday with shan and our moms. yeah, that was a fucking trip. they are so crazy!! they played this whole prank on us and they just thought they were hilarious. what bastards. they bought matching bracelets and all this shit. we started something bad!! anyway, the rest of the trip was fun. me and shan drove around harrisburg looking for a club on monday night. LAME. that city is dead on mondays, but we met a hot hotel worker named nick. he was so cute. he apologized for the city being so lame (and i loved that he said lame) :) we were planning to go to karaoke tuesday night but we were both so beat. so that's PA, hell yeah

being sober for 3 days was interesting. not bad, not good. my mom just kept giving me money and i wasnt spending it, and sadly all i was thinking was "i'm buying an ocho when i get back..." so that's what idid last night. mer came over to say bye, cause she thought she was going to florida today, but tirns out she's leaving tomorrow. so we went to polcari's to get katie and randomly it was karaoke night. me and mer got up and sang 'brother love's traveling salvation show'. no one knew what the hell was happening. isai was laughing at us hardcore and katie was screaming haha. it was funny. then i picked up from liza and went home. all in all it wasnt too bad. a nice night back, i guess.

so today. today is bullshit. i went to the vag doctor this morning- worst time of my life. i have pre-cancerous cells. yay. which is fine, cause they detected it so i'll be fine i guess. i just have to keep fucking going there, it sucks so bad. enough about my front bum, though. that's sick. other than that, the day just got progressivley worse. as if i wasnt already dreading going back to school enough.. today leesh said she's not going back to keene. i dont know that the hell i'm gonna do. we planned to live next door to eachother, this sucks so badly. i just dont know what it's gonna be like going back. it will probably suck. can i leave? is that even a possibility? i just dont want to go to school. i hate school, it sucks. all you do is fucking work until you feel like you want to die. and i need a job. what the fuck, this blows. everyone is so excited to go back to school and trace is going to the netherlands and everyone is so fucking happy. i just feel like i'm sinking. i started crying and telling trace how i'm sad i wont see her for 3 months and probably barely talk to her cause she has so much to see and do (which is understandable) but it's still so depressing. i've been having a fairly decent summer and i dont want everyone to leave. i wont see greg for ages again, i know that. just UGH! JKHBLHPKBJHLIUBGPIUB

anyway, on another note... i miss steve. i really wish this car wasnt such a piece of shit. i could actually go visit people. actually, i'm so fortunate that my brother is even letting me use his car, so i need to just stop right there. i'm lucky to have a piece of shit! driving around at night has been pretty awesome. i need to get this cd burner working on this computer so i can make the official Can I Get A Yo Holla? mix.

anyway. here's to a good night

cheers.

an actual update for those who care to know

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 04:33:44 GMT

this is more just for me, because everyone knows anyway. but yes... i feel like i am so up and down, i honestly dont know whether to cry or laugh. this weekend has been absolutely crazy. i can tell i'm a little down today, cause i listened to dashboard confessional, and i probably listen to that man twice a year at most. of course i keep listening to "this ruined puzzle" like 80 times. i feel like i cant cry. i think it's all the meds. i upped my dosage to try to help me sleep. how can i tell if it's working? i'm always too high to know the difference. when i'm stoned, i pass out on the spot and i do not get up. it's really amazing for me, cause i have such horribly interrupted sleep. weed is like a sleeping pill for me. i love it.

do you ever feel really amazing one minute than absolutely shitty the next? that has been this entire weekend. i dont know why i expect to get with someone the day i meet them than have some kind of relationship out of it. it's all fine, i just feel so rejected. like it wish it could have ended a little better, cause i have a problem with not getting closure out of situations. i was so cool about it too, until i knewi couldnt have it. like i just want what i cant have. the more someone scorns me, the more i imagine them holding me and long for that. i have some sickness.

the papers suck. me and mer did the papers then smoked a bowl at 7:30 a.m. we're fucking sick.

today is such a blur. does the time ever go by so fast? i cant even deal with it.

wow. this was supposed to be a big philosophical entry.

casa de dangle

Sat, 05 Jun 2004 19:29:44 GMT

i had all this stuff i wanted to write, then i found out there's a reno marathon tonight.

SO FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

that was unnecessary, i apologize... and that was not really intended to anyone who reads this or anyone at all for that matter.

reno 911 is life. i might even change my theme to reno style. that was a big lie. i love ari and uzi. they stay.

i'm trying to be more positive. we'll see how that goes.

margaret cho was hilarious. so was bruce daniels. i splooged. twice. i'll update with something better later. this was so dumb.

when am i gonna hit rock bottom..

Thu, 20 May 2004 22:06:35 GMT

i dont know what to do. maybe i need more drugs.. maybe i just... i just need some way to function. i've been crying a lot.. and i've been in moods, crazy moods.. where i just want anything to make me stop feeling like this. i try to read, distract myself.. i go out somewhere and see something i dont want to see and it depresses me. i go to the movies, it's all about love, and i want to die. why do i feel like everyone is smiling when i'm falling apart. not that it takes much.. just about anything sets me off.

i need something in my life.. i keep dreaming about the passion play. why? it's not like that was the best either. but it gave me something in my life. and even on the worst performance nights, when everyone pissed me off to no end, i still cried. why? why did i cry? i miss them so much. i dreamt that anthony was singing "i will be there" to me.. it was heart wrenching. i wrote him a letter in january, and i know he means to write back, but what have i ever done for him? why should he? i was his best friend and i just abandoned him cause i found him to be too needy. of course he told me he loved me and missed me when i saw him, but i dont even deserve that much. i just suck.. at everything. what i wouldnt give to still have tht in my life. they dont know how lucky they are. and shan is lucky she gets to be a part of it- more than i was. i just need something like that in my life. anything. anything to keep me sane.

i couldnt sleep last night.. i tried and tried, but i just couldnt. so i thought about kris.. i thought about his arms being around me and telling me everything will be ok... i cried myself to sleep. somehow i lost that too, didnt i? it's my stupidity that keeps me from having a healthy relationship. i never will. i feel so fucking alone, and i dont know what to do.

let me give you a littl scenario of what my life is all about..

Wed, 12 May 2004 20:20:10 GMT

when is the last time i truly updated this thing? i dont even remember. well well well... what's going on with me. too much to explain i guess. i've been home for a week, and i haven't even seen a lot of people. of course i've seen trae, which has been very comforting and nice... i missed driving around and not having to talk.. just knowing what the other is thinking. i don't really have anyone else to do that with. we saw shan shan monday night, and we walked around all night at walmart, which was fun too. we all bought shit we didnt need (especially mary-kate and ashley MAKE-UP, god dammit, and a stupid movie) but it was worth it. i'm going to get sushi with heathy tonight; i'm pretty excited. :) i dont remember the last time we did that.

i'm starting to think that happiness just isnt a lasting thing... i try to think of all the times i've been truly content, and they're all gone now. like being 12 and sneaking down to the ocean with jacki. all we had were our flashlights and we were so scared greg would catch us and yell, but we didnt care. we'd see a flash on the ocean and it was all worth it. or being little with ed and playing our stupid games.. like seeing who would laugh first when being tickled. or when kris took me to his special spot in the woods... it was so beautiful.

it's all gone now, dont you get that? i know i look fine, but i dont feel it. and really, no one can say anything to make it better. i'm just crazy, i really am. i'll be fine in 10 minutes, then tomorrow i'll get all crazy again. i feel like i'm being suffocated. i just need some fucking air. why doesnt anyone understand that?

sigh...

Tue, 11 May 2004 06:45:49 GMT

Today was really tiring.
I got out of bed because I had to throw up. I'm really sick. I mean REALLY sick.

I feel disgusting. I got drunk last night and passed out on the lawn.

I'm so stoned.

Last night I had to masturbate twenty times. I'm so horny. Click here to see my website.

I want to tell the world to get fucked.

I am really annoyed with those assholes at _are_you_hotter_than_us_?, because I am so much cuter than them, and those photos don't do me justice. They can't reject me, so I'm starting my own rating community. Click here to join (the first five applicants are automatically accepted).

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's some photos of my girlfriend in the nude (but don't tell her that I've posted them here - she'll kill me! Har har.)

I want to say thanks to simon and Abbey and Dave and the other Simon for helping me on Saturday. You guys are the best. By the way, if you happen to find my wallet, keys or underwear, could you SMS me? Adrian has my number.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, just like my best friend Sally.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you what your favourite sexual position is.

My crotch is soooo itchy. I'm so hungover.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this poem I wrote. It's about my friend Robert, who has bipolar disorder. Just like me. And Heidi.

Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!
Powered by Rum and Monkey

dirty thief

Wed, 21 Apr 2004 20:41:02 GMT

this was stolen from anna:

I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less.

Ask me anything you want.

Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.

you can do it, put your back into it.

well hell...

Fri, 16 Apr 2004 04:10:32 GMT

Kungfuwookie: im leaving, ill be here waiting if you want me back
goawaysunnyday63: stop it please
Kungfuwookie: no
goawaysunnyday63: this is just you pointing the finger

Auto response from Kungfuwookie: call if you need me

goawaysunnyday63: then you have the nerve to say i just wanna hook up with guys
goawaysunnyday63: when i was sitting there crying reading your away messages of "i just want someone to get up on top of me and fuck my problems away"
goawaysunnyday63: but yeah, youre right, kris.. i just want some ass
goawaysunnyday63: i'm glad you think so highly of me
goawaysunnyday63: because i was the one who went and asked your FRIENDS if they knew anyone who was easy
goawaysunnyday63: oh no wait, that was you
goawaysunnyday63: yet it's all my fault.
goawaysunnyday63: excellent

i knew i should have went out with jen and just got fucking wasted.... someone please shoot me in the face. i just want out of this existence.

why now

Mon, 12 Apr 2004 04:32:23 GMT

trace and greg... i'm really longing for some time with you both.. why now? why at 12:30 am? why am i worrying about this now?

i dont know, but i really need you both near...

i feel like i cant be normal around anyone else.. you make me feel like me.. like how i should feel...

i knew there was something missing from my life...

heh

Sat, 20 Mar 2004 17:12:18 GMT

Gay Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

now.. if i only spent half the amount of time doing work as i do on these damn quizzes- maybe i'd be somewhere. i want a homosexual care bear. they really should have made this bear. i would have been his best friend